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OPTIMISM: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. PESSIMISM: Where there’s a will, someone died..

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A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car..

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What do we want? A cure for short-term memory loss! When do we want it? When do we want what?

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I would never eat my own words. I'm too full of myself..

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OK, here's the deal. You try not to look like that and I'll try not to laugh..

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If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people..

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Stop kicking yourself. Let me do that..

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My boss has told so many unfunny jokes today, I've forgotten what my real laugh sounds like..

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One day in the scary movie when the victim yells "Hello?", I want to see the killer shout out "Hey! I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

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The biggest threat to my job security is a boss who walks quietly..

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When you really want to slap someone, do it and yell "Mosquito!"

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The ninja diet involves eating whatever you want and never getting caught..

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Lets get married and blame all our problems on each other..

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Of all the different blood groups, Type Os make the most spelling mistakes..

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I posted a joke about ninjas and nobody saw it..

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ਜੇ ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰੇ ਪਿਆਰ ਨੂੰ ਸਮਝ ਗਈ ਤਾ ਮੋਤੀਂ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ਜੇ ਨਾਂ ਸਮਝੀ ਤੇ ਖੋਤੀ.....

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Ek sach ki talash me nikle the, Kai jhuth se mil kar aaye hain...

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Sleep is at the top of my list of places I'd like to go back to; Night!! Night!! Keep Calm; Thank God; Stay Blessed; Take Care; Read2smile..

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What if birds are just alien cameras?

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If you notice a person is deceiving you, they must not be deceiving you very well..

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