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A man is seated on top of a tree in the midst of a burning forest. He sees all living beings perish. But he doesn’t realize that the same fate is soon to overtake him also. That man is fool. - Mahavir..

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Non-violence is the highest religion. - Mahavir..

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Wishwas ban ke log zindagi me aate h. khawab banke aakhon me bas jate h. pehle to yakeen dilate ha ki wo hmare h. fir na jane kyu tanha shod jate h. - :Sohni!!

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Aashiane ki baat karte ho dil jalane ki baat karte ho, Mujhko apni khabar nahin tum zamane ki baat karte ho, saari duniya ke ranjo gum dekar muskurane ki baat karte ho, Haadsa tha guzar gaya kyun kisi ke jaane ki baat karte ho, kuchis tarha se mera saaze zindagi tuta Kyun shagufta saaz ke taron ki baat karte ho - :Shiri!!

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All human beings are miserable due to their own faults, and they themselves can be happy by correcting these faults. - Mahavir..

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Navrati greetings; stay blessed..

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Nafrat hai to keh dete hamse; Gairon se milkar dil kiun jalate ho.. - :Mishka!!

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Juda Tum Se Huwe Hain Tu Kisi Se Ham Nahi Milte, Koi Ham Se Mile B Tu Khushi Se Ham Nahi Milte. Agr Pathar Ho Tum Tu Ao Betho Ham B Pathar Hain, Agr Ho Aadmi Tu Aadmi Se Ham Nahi Milte. Hum Apni Zaat Me Sehra Hain Sehraon Se Yari Hai, Kisi Darya Samundar Ya Nadi Se Ham Nahi Milte. Humen Murda Dili Tohfe Me Tum Ne Hi Tu Bheji Thi, Gila Mat Kar Jo Ab Zinda Dili Se Hum Nahi Milte. Humari Zindgi Hai Wo Agr UsKi Khushi Hai Tu, Chalo Kuch Roz Apni Zindgi Se Hum Nahi Milte. Faqiron Ko Faqiron Ki Rafaqat Raas Aati Hai, Sakhi Aaen Tu Keh Dena Sakhi Se Hum Nahi Milte. - :Shiri!!

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Respect for all living beings is non‑violence. - Mahavir..

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Have compassion towards all living beings. Hatred leads destruction. - Mahavir..

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Every soul is in itself absolutely omniscient and blissful. The bliss does not come from outside. - Mahavir..

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There is no separate existence of God. Everybody can attain God-hood by making supreme efforts in the right direction. - Mahavir..

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Every soul is independent. None depends on another. - Mahavir..

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Silence and Self-control is non-violence. - Mahavir..

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The greatest mistake of a soul is non-recognition of its real self and can only be corrected by recognizing itself. - Mahavir..

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In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. - Buddha..

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There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. - Buddha..

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There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. - Buddha..

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Without health life is not life; it is only a state of langour and suffering – an image of death. - Buddha..

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I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. - Buddha..

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However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? - Buddha..

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Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. - Buddha..

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Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. - Buddha..

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An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Buddha..

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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. - Buddha..

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Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. - Buddha..

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Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. - Buddha..

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Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. - Buddha..

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha..

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Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha..

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All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain? - Buddha..

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Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. - Buddha..

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All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. - Buddha..

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Every time you get angry, you poison your own system. - Alfred..

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For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. - Emerson..

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Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. - Lucius..

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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha..

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How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it! - Marcus..

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Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. - Aristotle..

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Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind. - Robert..

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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. - Twain..

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Anger is a short madness. - Horace..

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1 Shakhs Hai jo Bhoolta Nhi mujh se .. .maine Sari Dunya Ko Bhula Kar Dekha Hai... - :Irshad!!

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Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding. - Gandhi..

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An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. - Cato..

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Koi keh de gamo se baandh le samaan apna; bahut din ka ruka mehman bhi accha nhi lgta.. - :Shiri!!

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'Bohat se raaste Aate hain mere Dil ki Taraf... Tum khuloos ke Raaste Aana Faasla kam parray ga.' - :Shiri!!

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Keep Calm; Thank God; Stay Blessed; Take Care; Read2smile; Night!! Night!!

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A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green. - Francis..

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Samjha Na Koi Dil Ki Baat Ko, Dard Duniya Ne Bina Soche Hi De Diya, Jo Sah Gaye Har Dard Ko Hum Chupke Se, To Humko Hi Patthar-Dil Kah Diya… P.S. Ye dunia bdi $#&@#/$ hai..

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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. - Einstein..

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Hales Storm; Nazara hi aa gya; ENGvsSL..

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. - Einstein..

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No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. - Einstein..

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Before God we are all equally wise – and equally foolish. - Einstein..

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Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either. - Einstein..

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We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive. - Einstein..

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Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. - Einstein..

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A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. - Einstein..

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A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be. - Einstein..

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kabhi kambkhat mera naam le kar wo itrate the.... aaj usi naam se wo hame badnam bhi kar rahe hai... - :Irshad!!

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Become more and more innocent, less knowledgeable and more childlike. Take life as fun – because that’s precisely what it is! - Osho..

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Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy. To be alive means to have a sense of humor. - Osho..

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Happiness is a shadow of harmony; it follows harmony. There is no other way to be happy. - Osho..

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Relationships would be easier if people came with a clear history button....!!! - :Irshad!!

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Congratulations: Your message has been sent, seen, ignored and forgotten successfully=)) - :Irshad!!

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Bα∂ι Gυѕтαкн Hαι Tєяι Yαααα∂є...!! . Iηнє тαмєєz ѕιкнα ∂σ...!! . Dαѕтααк Bнι ηнι Dєтι Aυя Dιℓ мє Uтαя Aαтι Hαι...!! - :Irshad!!

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Zen people love Buddha so tremendously that they can even play jokes upon him. It is out of great love; they are not afraid. - Osho..

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You become that which you think you are. - Osho..

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Zen is the only religion in the world that teaches sudden enlightenment. It says that enlightenment takes no time, it can happen in a single, split second. - Osho..

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Meaning is man-created. And because you constantly look for meaning, you start to feel meaninglessness. - Osho..

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Enlightenment is the understanding that this is all, that this is perfect, that this is it. Enlightenment is not an achievement, it is an understanding that there is nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. - Osho..

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The day you think you know, your death has happened – because now there will be no wonder and no joy and no surprise. Now you will live a dead life. - Osho..

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If you can become a mirror you have become a meditator. Meditation is nothing but skill in mirroring. And now, no word moves inside you so there is no distraction. - Osho..

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How can one become enlightened? One can, because one is enlightened – one just has to recognize the fact. - Osho..

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Friendship is the purest love. It is the highest form of Love where nothing is asked for, no condition, where one simply enjoys giving. - Osho..

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It’s not a question of learning much… On the contrary. It’s a question of unlearning much. - Osho..

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You can love as many people as you want – that does not mean one day you will go bankrupt, and you will have to declare, ‘Now I have no love.’ You cannot go bankrupt as far as love is concerned. - Osho..

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There is no need of any competition with anybody. You are yourself, and as you are, you are perfectly good. Accept yourself. - Osho..

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You can love as many people as you want – that does not mean one day you will go bankrupt, and you will have to declare, ‘Now I have no love.’ You cannot go bankrupt as far as love is concerned. - Osho..

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Don’t move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love makes you move. Move the way joy makes you move.. - Osho..

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Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself. - Osho..

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When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. - Osho..

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It's weird that girls get mad at guys if they tell them the same thing a mirror does. - :Irshad!!

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Keep Calm; Thank God; Stay Blessed; Take Care; Read2smile; Night!! Night!!

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Don’t choose. Accept life as it is in its totality. - Osho..

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If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinion for or against. - Osho..

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Nobody is here to fulfill your dream. Everybody is here to fulfill his own destiny, his own reality. - Osho..

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Only those who are ready to become nobodies are able to love. - Osho..

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Life is a balance between rest and movement. - Osho..

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Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. - Coleridge..

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Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone. - Gracian..

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The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Holmes..

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The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. - Socrates..

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Be happy. It’s one way of being wise. - Sidonie..

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Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom..

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A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb..

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No man was ever wise by chance. - Lucius..

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Wise kings generally have wise counselors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one. - Diogenes..

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A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination. - Mandela..

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Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius..

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Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius..

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Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men. - Confucius..

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It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. - Confucius..

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By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius..

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It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. - Confucius..

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Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius..

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Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure. - Confucius..

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To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness. - Confucius..

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Yahaan To log Sadiyon Ko Bhi Lamhon Mein Badalte Hai, Mera Ek Pal Nahi Katta, Jahaan Par Tum Nahi Hote.. - :Irshad!!

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Mere Chehre Pe Rounaq Uss Ke Liye Hai..!! .. Mujh Me Har Nazakat Ussii Ke Liye Hai..!! .. Wo Toh Naadaan Hai Maangti Hai Mujhse Ek pal....!! .. Usse Kya Pata ?? Meri Poori Zindagi Sirf Ussi K Liye hai....!! - :Irshad!!

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I once had a best friend who is now a stranger. - :Irshad!!

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Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire. - Confucius..

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I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius..

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Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucius..

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Zindagi Me Khud Ko Kabhi Kisi Insaan Ka Aadi Mat Banana . . . Kyunki Insaan Bohot Khudgarz Hai..!! . . jab Apko Pasand Krta Hai To Apki Burai Bhool Jata Hai .. . . . . Aur Jab Aapse Nafrat Krta Hai Toh Aapki Acchaai Bhool jata Hai..! - :Rohan!!

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An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger. - Confucius..

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A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. - Confucius..

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Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two. - Sidhu..

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And venture belongs to the adventurous. - Sidhu..

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Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm. - Sidhu..

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Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald. - Sidhu..

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Age has been the perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth. - Sidhu..

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After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful. - Sidhu..

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Life is lived on its own… other’s shoulders are used only at the time of funeral. - S. Bhagat Singh..

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I am a man and all that affects mankind concerns me. - S. Bhagat Singh..

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Merciless criticism and independent thinking are the two necessary traits of revolutionary thinking. - S. Bhagat Singh..

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…by crushing individuals, they cannot kill ideas. - S. Bhagat Singh..

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I emphasize that I am full of ambition and hope and of full charm of life. But I can renounce all at the time of need, and that is the real sacrifice. - S. Bhagat Singh..

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Khamosh-mizaji tujhe jeene nhi degi; Is daur me jeena hai to kohraam macha do; Inqalab..

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Inqalab..

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"Doctor! Doctor! I snore so loudly, I wake myself up at night." "Have you tried sleeping in another room?"

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Have you hugged an idiot today? Me either, come here!

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Changed my computer password to "silence". Apparently the gf doesn't know that word..

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Time: Don't spend it all in one place..

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At my yoga class today, I achieved a new level of consciousness: un..

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Why do dogs always think the knock at the door is for them?

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Popcorn is probably my favorite food that explodes before you eat it..

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If steroids are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal for models?

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I would like to disagree with you but I don't understand a word you're saying..

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The tongue weighs practically nothing, but only a few people can hold it..

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A pessimist counting his blessings, "10...9...8...7...6...5..."

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Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull..

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At the bank, I told the cashier, "I'd like to open a joint account please." "OK, with whom?" "Whoever has lots of money."

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I'm sorry. I just assumed if you wanted this project done quickly, you wouldn't have assigned it to me..

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Life is easier if you just commit to being part of the problem..

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Actions speak louder than words, but talk is cheap and you have to consider that in this economy..

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Tablet computers are hard to swallow..

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Fb is kinda like putting the voices in your head on speakerphone..

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You are like a dream to me. I forget pretty much everything about you a few minutes after seeing you..

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You're everything I never wanted..

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Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Some they are only there long enough to teach you the lesson that you needed to learn.. - :Hassan!!

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Chakk de India; Burrrrrahhh..

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Aur ye bharat ki jeet; 7 wickets se match jeeta; bgair kisi dbav ke; bgair kisi hichkichahat ke; bhai koi sidhu ko centre fresh khilao; IndvsPak..

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Advice to pak team; raho umar-less; IndvsPak..

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Beech beech me cameraman nav-yuvtiyo ki shakal dikha ke TV ke darshako ki waah waahi loot-te huye. Iss beeh Kohli ka BSNL chauka; IndvsPak..

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Saurav Ganguly must be thinking what wrong I have done to be seated in same box with Rameez Raja and Navjot Siddhu; IndvsPak..

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Waqt khoobsurat mohtarma ke liye bhi nhi thehrta; SidhuKiSuno; IndvsPak..

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Virat Kohli seems to be setting himself up nicely for MCBCs at the end of the match; IndvsPak..

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Kohli ka gaganbhedi chhakka, saare darshak kartal dhwani me b€ b€ ke naare lagaate hue; IndvsPak..

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Raina ka karara shot, pakistani khilaadi aise hataash maano IPL ka auction ho raha ho; IndvsPak..

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डियर गर्ल्स, अपने बाॅयफ्रेंड को फोन करके देखो अभी के अभी अगर उसने अभी उठा लिया तो जाओ शादी करलो उससे वो बहुत प्यार करता है तुमको; INDvsPAK..

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#$@&^*$#; yuvi out; revital bhi be-asar; IndvsPak..

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Aur sharma ji bhi chal diye; IndvsPak..

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Dhawan out; ab pakistanis hawan krenge hawan krenge hawan krenge; IndvsPak..

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Rameez Raja is spinning arguments in Pakistan's favour more than Pakistanis are spinning the ball; INDvsPAK..

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Sidhu and Shoaib Akhtar are doing commentary as if no one is listening to them; IndvsPak..

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Asia Cup 2014 final ke baad ek baar fir Sayed Ajmal par 7 kuvaari behno ke akele bhai se bhi jaada jimevaari hai; IndvsPak.. - :Kamal!!

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Bade hi sanyam se khelte huye kaabu ballebaaz Dhawan aur pratibhashali Sharma, bas kahi koi #@$/^&@#$ na kar baithe; CensoredCommentary; IndvsPak..

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Dimag ki batti rohit ki jal gyi hai; SiddhuKiSuno; Sponsored by mentos cola; IndvsPak..

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Junaid Khan's initial jump in his stride is Mithun Chakraborty announcing his arrival on the dance floor; IndvsPak..

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Run out hone se bach gye; ab toh dhawan krenge dhawan krenge dhawan krenge; IndvsPak..

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Mohd. Hafeez reminds me of my childhood days, where you get 1st batting, 1st bowling and captaining the team; INDvsPAK..

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Ok now Congress ad. So it is just not INDvsPak but CongvsBJP as well..

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Meanwhile in Pakistan's dugout: Coach: "70 minutes; 70 minutes hai tumhare paas. *YAWNS* Yaar jaldi haar ke aajao. Nind aayi hai."; INDvsPAK..

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Mai bhi jagmagati bails aur stumps dekh ke hi jaunga. - Maqsood; IndvPak..

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Pak: 130/7 in 20 overs; Ind: ___/__ in __ overs..

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Haan toh jab Raina hai toh baaki team ko fielding karne ki zarurat hi kya hai bhai; IndvPak..

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Suresh Raina; SuryaNamaskar bhaisaab; IndvsPak..

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"Sensible batting" says Shastri, and immediately Shoaib Malik gets out. You gotta love Shastri for doing this time and again; IndvPak..

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Jijaji ke joote chura lo. Footwork nahi kar paayenge; IndvPak; WT20..

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"Show-Abs Malik" - Sania Mirza..

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One dropped catch. 13 runs in an over. This isn't looking good for Revital..

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Boond boond se sagar bnta hai aur chhote chhote chhidro se jahaj bhi doob jaate hai; SiddhuKiSuno..

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Wow! Must be tough being the cameraman in these matches. I dont know how these guys take the camera off of those females & focus on cricket..

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Pakistani players are so astonished by those glowing bails that they are finding ways to watch it again and again..

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Zindgi ke safar mein kabhi vo muqam nahi mila ..... Aadmi kadam kadam par mile magar insaan kabhi na mila ....... - :Irshad!!

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Kamaaaal karte ho Mishra ji; Shehzad miya toh chalte bne..

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T20 ke diwano; zra dil ko sambhalo; IND vs PAK chal ra; star sports lagalo..

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Sometimes pain is just nature's way of telling you that you're the nail instead of the hammer..

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If you don’t take care of yourself you may find others having to do it for you. De-stress your life and find the joy in your personal journey..

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RIP Khushwant Singh; 1915 - 2014..

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Life is more than what we know about it..

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The world needs more people like us and fewer like them..

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Remember, money is only worth the good that you do with it..

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That awkward moment when you want to laugh but its completely inappropriate...

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Life is full of disappointments and I'm full of life..

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Darkest: the exact moment you’re trying to find your seat at a movie..

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Lazy rule: can't reach it; don't need it..

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A wise man should have money in his head but not in his heart..

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Is it true that people with Type O blood make more mistakes when they type??

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The secret of good journalism is to realize that some facts are just too good to be double-checked..

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A generous spirit is its own reward, but I still prefer cash..

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Yesterday I changed my wifi name to "Hack if you can"; when I checked it today it was "Challenge accepted"..

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Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored..

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I wish some conversations came with a fast-forward button..

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Hey, to whoever invented the zero: Thanks for nothing..

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Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life..

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The Judge: "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again." The Criminal: "That's what I told the cop, but he wouldn't listen!"

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I wish I could remember that joke I heard about Alzheimer's..

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WARNING: If you do it right the first time, they'll ask you to do it again..

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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun..

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I meant to behave but there were too many other options..

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So much to do; so little desire to do it..

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It's National Tell a Lie Day. So, just another day for every politician..

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I have reliable inside information about Apple's next product. I will not be able to afford it..

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I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work..

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Fb has saved me from a terrifying keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself addiction..

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Patient: "I didn't care for the four-letter word the Doctor used during my surgery." Nurse: "What was it?" "OOPS!"

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Let's all get drunk and correct each other's grammar..

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I'm living the dream! I sleep all the time..

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If you love something let it go. If it comes back, maybe you love a boomerang..

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The doctor told me I suffer with insomnia. I've lay awake all night worrying about it..

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Interview: "We want to hire responsible people." "Great! When things go wrong people always say say I'm "responsible".

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My relationship with my ex was very psychological..... she's psycho and I'm logical..

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I'm fairly certain I could be arrested at any moment for being a Serial Time Killer..

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Would you mind repeating the part where you weren't talking?

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Ever notice when people reach a certain age they repeat everything they say? They repeat everything they say..

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If I save time, when do I get it back?

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Wife: "See that devoted couple? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" Husband: "I don't know her well enough".

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Though many think the letter 'M' is quite common, it actually only occurs once in a blue moon..

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We all are defending our right to remain silent by speaking too much about it..

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Microsoft first included Solitaire in their Windows operating system to teach people how to drag and drop..

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Are we responsible for the image we create for ourselves or is it the people around us?

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Enough of masti....now we must also be contemplating on some serious issues.... Please Spare a thought for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat!!

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If you're looking for drama, find the girl who's yelling 'I hate drama!' the loudest..

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The phrase "Don't take this the wrong way" has a 0% success rate..

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Never let any Disease or Medical Procedure scare you. That's what the Bill is for..

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If people would just stop being wrong, I wouldn't always have to be right..

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Hola Mohalla Greetings; Sikh Martial Arts Parade.. Definition: The word Hola, an interchangeable phonetic short form of Holla, is a derivative of a Punjabi term meaning onset of attack or frontal assault. Mohalla has an Arabic root and is a description meaning an army battalion or military regiment marching in full regalia. Hola Mohalla is a weeklong Sikh Festival which revolves around daytime demonstrations of Gatka , the Sikh martial art, and other military sports. Evening events include Sikh worship services and kirtan , the singing of hymns selected from Guru Granth Sahib . The grand finale at the end of the week is a martial arts parade. The festival usually takes place mid March beginning on the first day of Chet, which is the start of the Sikh New Year according to the Nanakshahi calendar. The word Hola is a masculine variation of Holi, the Hindu Spring Festival of Color, a licentious celebration which precedes Hola Mohalla by a day. Tenth Guru Gobind Singh introduced the martial festivities of Hola Mohalla to coincide with Holi..

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राधा का रंग ओर कान्हा की पिचकारी..! प्यार के रंग से रंग दो दुनिया सारी..! ये रंग ना जाने कोई जात ना कोई बोली..! मुबारक हो आपको रंग भरी होली..! " आपको ओर अपके पुरे परिवार को होली की ढेरो शुभकामनाएँ " :-D

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Wo Jo Kehta Tha K Mujhe Muhabbat Karna Nahi Aati , * * Mein Us Se Puchti Hon Phir Dil Torna Kis Se Sikh Liya...!!! - :Irshad!!

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Ji To ChaHta HaI TuJhE Cheer K RakH Don Ay DiL Na Wo RaHe TuJh Me Na Tuu RaHe MuJh Mein .. - :Irshad!!

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Re Kabeera Sararararara; Holi Hai..

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Fault finding is like window washing. All the dirt seems to be on the other side..

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Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway..

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Don't grow up! It's a trap!!!

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India is the land of promises... especially during an election year..

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My new goal in life is to make a doctor wait 45 minutes for me and give no explanation..

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There is no right way to do the wrong thing. But there is usually an easier way..

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There's a thin line between ''I should post about that'' and ''I should talk to a therapist about that...''

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Sound advice from my gf. 99% sound. 1% advice..

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Tattoo: permanent proof of temporary insanity..

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I found the key to success. Now, I just need to find the lock..

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A wise man once said nothing..

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Anything seems possible when you don't know what you're talking about..

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According to all the latest reports, there was no truth in any of the earlier reports..

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GOOD NEWS: Girls think I have a magical power. BAD NEWS: It’s invisibility..

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The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well..

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I used to be afraid of the dark. Now I'm terrified of the electricity bill..

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My gf said I make her feel invisible. I didn’t even know I had a gf..

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I either get what I want or I change my mind..

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Apparently towels are the biggest cause of dry skin..

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You can fool some of the people all of the time. In politics, those are the ones you want to concentrate on..

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The closest I get to multitasking is ignoring more than one thing at a time..

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Music has the charm to soothe a savage beast. But I'd try a baseball bat first..

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The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit..

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You should never run away from your problems. Unless your problem is, like, you're being chased by a bear..

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I often wonder what tomatoes did to make the other fruits disown them and force them to live as vegetables..

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If loving you is wrong, I've probably loved you..

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If you learn from your mistakes, you must be a freaking genius..

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They finally invented a computer as smart as a person. When it makes a mistake, it blames another computer..

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You should never fear what you don't know, that's why I'm not afraid of anything..

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Faasle Badhte Hai To Galat Fehmiyaa Bhi Badh Jati Hai Phir vo Bhi Sunai Deta Jo Kaha Bhi Na Ho...!! - :Irshad!!

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Be patient. The best things happen unexpectedly.. - :Irshad!!

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Hasratein machal gayi jab unhe socha ek pal ke liye... Anjaam kya hoga jab woh milenge mujhe umrr bhar ke liye... - :Irshad!!

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Ittefaq se mil jate ho jab kabhi raah mein tum... Yun lagta hai qareeb se zindagi ja rahi ho jaise...!!! - :Irshad!!

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Ek umrr hai ke bitaani hai uske bagair... Ek lamha hai ke gujara nahi jata...! - :Irshad!!

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Kahan se laayen har roz ek naya dil faraz ?... Todne walon ne toh tamasha bana rakha hai..... - :Irshad!!

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My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues. So we hit him..

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Banjaara aankhein hijar dil aur kehlate hum insaan hain.. - :Shiri!!

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Kaisi neend, khawab kiske? Hum veeran ankhon wale....sagar ki talash mein.. - :Shiri!!

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Keep calm. Nobody else knows what they're doing either..

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I'm more confused than a circular pizza in a square box, cut into triangular slices..

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Nothing is ever so bad that I can't make it a little worse..

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Some brains are like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in, never to be seen again..

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I used to work at a recycling plant. My job was to crush cans. It was soda pressing..

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We have so much in common. You want to travel... I want you to go...

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I'm on that diet where you eat everything you want and pray for a miracle..

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Sometimes I question my sanity. Sometimes it replies..

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Local news: Man avoids car accident by not posting while driving..

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I used to have super powers but my psychiatrist took them away..

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OPTIMISM: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. PESSIMISM: Where there’s a will, someone died..

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A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car..

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What do we want? A cure for short-term memory loss! When do we want it? When do we want what?

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I would never eat my own words. I'm too full of myself..

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OK, here's the deal. You try not to look like that and I'll try not to laugh..

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If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people..

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Stop kicking yourself. Let me do that..

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My boss has told so many unfunny jokes today, I've forgotten what my real laugh sounds like..

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One day in the scary movie when the victim yells "Hello?", I want to see the killer shout out "Hey! I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

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The biggest threat to my job security is a boss who walks quietly..

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When you really want to slap someone, do it and yell "Mosquito!"

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The ninja diet involves eating whatever you want and never getting caught..

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Lets get married and blame all our problems on each other..

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Of all the different blood groups, Type Os make the most spelling mistakes..

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I posted a joke about ninjas and nobody saw it..

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ਜੇ ਤੂੰ ਮੇਰੇ ਪਿਆਰ ਨੂੰ ਸਮਝ ਗਈ ਤਾ ਮੋਤੀਂ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ਜੇ ਨਾਂ ਸਮਝੀ ਤੇ ਖੋਤੀ.....

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Ek sach ki talash me nikle the, Kai jhuth se mil kar aaye hain...

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Sleep is at the top of my list of places I'd like to go back to; Night!! Night!! Keep Calm; Thank God; Stay Blessed; Take Care; Read2smile..

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What if birds are just alien cameras?

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If you notice a person is deceiving you, they must not be deceiving you very well..

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Whoever snuck the 'S' into Fast Food ...well played!

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There are two sides to every argument but I don't have time to listen to yours..

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Mausam ka haal; Barish here in Ludhiana, Punjab..

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The imaginary enemy of my enemy is my imaginary friend..

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You remind me of somebody I don't want to know..

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I’m so lazy, my snooze button just hit me..

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Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say..

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My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it..

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I try to stay in touch with reality but lately it won't return my calls..

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WARNING: To avoid suffocation, keep my hands away from your neck..

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Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a superpower..

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My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night..

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इंसान घर बदलता है। लिबास बदलता है। रिश्ते बदलता है। दोस्त बदलता है। फिर भी परेशान क्यों रहता है? क्यूंकि वो खुद को नहीं बदलता..

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I hate being left out almost as much as I hate being included..

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Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… Best friends don't let you do dumb things alone..

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Sure, I'm willing to put in longer hours at work. As long as they're lunch hours..

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I was all excited about making cool custom ringtones and then remembered no one calls me..

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Don't let little stupid things break your happiness..

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One day I would like to hit the refresh button and actually feel refreshed..

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Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. Everyone I told swore they wouldn't tell anyone else..

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Women are smarter than men, but men have the advantage of not knowing this..

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Don't get me started, I don't come with brakes!

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579s84a831f9e94t67y89304. There is safety in numbers..

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I ran into my old English teacher. He said, "Goode to see ye!"

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Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second..

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Jiniya marzi Seyania gallan kari jayo . . . . .. . Gandiya gallan da sala swaad i vakhra.. :-P #saM :3

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Me in class: Wait.... What happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? Whaaat? ⊙.0 :-P #saM

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Boy: Do you love me? Girl: Yes, I can do anything for you. Boy: Chal Phir, 17 ka Table Sunna. *Blocked* :3 #saM :-P

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That awkward :3 moment when teacher cracks a joke, then start laughing and the class is dead silent.. #saM :-P

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That moment when you close your eyes to apply shampoo and you get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower.. :? :v #saM

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I love my relationship with my bed. no commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.. :-P #saM

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Beautiful message written outside a holy place... "Extending one hand to help somebody has more value Than Joining two hands for prayer"!! :-D #saM

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You and I are best of friends. Always remember I will pick you up if you fall. Right after I stop laughing..

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Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault..

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The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures..

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If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, I can have the whole bag..

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How can my mirror and my camera have such completely different ideas of what I look like?

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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often..

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Happiness is everywhere.. - :Mishka!!

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A clean desk is a sign of a new employee..

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Life is the original limited-time offer..

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Changing my name to Reason. Because no one ever listens to me..

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"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher..

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Whoever said "Don't cry over spilt milk" hasn't seen the price of food lately..

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I made a group on whatsapp once. I was the first to leave it too..

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If I look tired at the end of the day, it's because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy..

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Happiness is shopping.. - :Tajinder!!

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Happiness is hugging someone.. - :Shashank!!

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I really wasn't planning on going for a run today but those cops came out of nowhere..

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You know you're getting old when you have to turn your music down to park your car..

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Happiness is ______________________..

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Every person has a story to tell, which is why I never talk to people..

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Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug..

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When I was young, I had to walk all the way to the TV to change the channels..

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I live in a two-story house: One of them is "It's always your fault" and the other one is "Because I said so"..

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It's difficult to follow your dream. It's a tragedy not to..

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Sometimes autocorrect can be your worst enema..

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If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise; If you're right and you're shut up, you're married..

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The best way to get something done is to BEGIN..

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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the team I work in..

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The moment when you call and ask to speak to the head idiot and you're put through to your own voice mail..

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You can't divorce yourself from reality if you were never married to it in the first place..

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Hi, I'm from the Government. If you think your problems are bad, just wait till you see our solutions..

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You're only your own worst critic until we become friends..

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A bathroom tile salesman's pitch to a girl should be "This tile will look great in the background of your facebook pics"..

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Congrats to every radio station on being number 1!

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How can I be sure I've succeeded if I can't remember what I was trying to do?

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I work well with others when they leave me the heck alone..

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Chaar bottle vodka; kaam mera roj ka; got inspired; tried it; and now updating from bathroom..

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Of course we can be friends! Just not with each other..

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"Always leave them wanting more" is my standard approach to paying bills..

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When she asks me, "What do I think?" I think I really should have been listening..

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I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast..

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Walked right by an ex-gf today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed..

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When it comes to advice, I'm a giver..

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Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often..

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There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you're supposed to be doing something else..

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I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally..

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When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it..

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I don't burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little each day..

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I have no problem with you speaking your mind... as long as you can do it with your mouth closed..

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Boss: I don't get down to your office much. Me: And don't think we don't appreciate that..

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I don't just have issues. I have a subscription..

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You ever just want to grab someone and say WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

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U can get her love in the form of Sister, Friend, Beloved, Wife, Daughter, in the form of Mother & in the form of Grandmother…..so, …..Respect HER….She is a Woman! Happy Women’s Day!

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Would it still be considered interrupting if you weren't listening in the first place?

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Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you..

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It's not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority..

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Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain..

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Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday..

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Freak out your neighbors. Name your wifi "police thana"..

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I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty..

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Never ask for directions from a starfish..

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I always mean what I say...I just don't always mean to say it out loud..

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My cooking is so awesome, even the smoke alarm cheers me on..

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Someone should invent an alarm clock that automatically reports you sick when you've pressed snooze 3 times..

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Arguing with my gf is like getting arrested. Anything you can can and will be used against you..

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That awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you..

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6 years of your life is spent dreaming dreams which you will no longer remember..

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Every time I open my mouth, some idiot starts talking..

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I could be a morning person. If morning happened around noon..

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My chief contribution to society is being "The Worst Case Scenario."

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ਮਾਂ ਬੋਲੇ ਤਾਂ ਫਾਲਤੂ ਟੋਕਦੀ . ਜੇ ਓਸੇ ਗੱਲ ਨੂੰ ਟੋਕੇ ਮਾਸ਼ੂਕ, ਤਾਂ ਹਾਏ ਮੇਰੀ ਜਾਨ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਿੰਨਾ ਸੋਚਦੀ

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Heat makes things expand. So, I'm not overweight, I'm just a little too warm..

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I hate people who say 'Age is just a number' — Age is clearly a word..

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Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark..

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Lazy People Fact #5812672794: You were too lazy to read that number..

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Shoepidity... wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good..

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When I argue with my gf, I always get the last word. It's just that sometimes she can't hear it..

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Honesty is the best policy. Unless you want people to like you..

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There's a lot to be said for being a man of few words..

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The best nicknames are usually the ones people don't know they have..

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The problem with the world are the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid people are full of confidence..

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Sometimes, when I don't want my gf to find something, I put it in her purse..

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I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone..

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Couples who have been married a long time start finishing each others sentences. The most popular ending being "Shut the #%

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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot..

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....Kuch is tarha se saudaa kiya mujhse waqt ne Ke tajurbe de kar wo meri maasoomiyat le gaya!..... - :Irshad!!

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Ek baar aur dekhkar azaad karde mujhe, Mai Ab bhi teri pehli nazar ki qaid me hu.. - :Irshad!!

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You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll train you..

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Aap k Chehre Ko Kya Zarurat Hai Sawarne Ki..?? Aap tohTo Apni Sadgi Me Bhi Qayamat Dha Dete Hai ho..! - :Irshad!!

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Ek Yahi Aarzoo Rahi Dil Mein Muddaton Se Koi Hamein Bhi Chahe Dil Ki Shid'daton Se Bahot Veeran Si Hai Zindagi Apni Koi Nawaz De Aakar Apni Mohabbaton Se... - :Irshad!!

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Mai kab tak tumhe pane ki chahat me pareshani uthata rahunga, ya toh meri ho jao, ya koi aisa dhoka do ki meri har aas tut jaye. . - :Irshad!!

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The kids text me "plz" Because it's shorter than "please". I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes"..

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Tu zid hai is dil ki.... warna in aankhon ne aur bhi haseen chehre dekhe hai...♥♥ - :Irshad!!

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WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear..

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You say you want to bring me back to reality. You're assuming I've been there before..

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The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall..

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Our sunset is sunrise somewhere else..

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First you're telling me to be myself, then you're telling me to stop being an idiot. Make your mind up..

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The present is different from the thought of the present..

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They say that the first Black Hole was discovered in 1916, but marriage has been around a lot longer than that..

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Sometimes we love our problems too much to solve them..

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I would go the extra mile for you! ...in the opposite direction..

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What is the point in reaching another milestone on the road to nowhere?

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I'm sorry I got angry and said a lot of things I meant but shouldn't have said..

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Improvement involves change but every change is not an improvement..

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beware of double minded people, you may get the wrong mind.. - :Nix!!

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I don't think I've done a system update since 1998 but I've clicked "maybe later" 1,287 times..

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Intentions change when possibilities change..

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tears are liquid property for girls, bahut hisaab se kharch karti h... - :Nix!!

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You cannot step in the same river twice not only because it is not the same river, but also because you are not the same you..

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Beware of half truths... you may get the wrong half..

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Tears are liquid poetry..

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My gf is a water sign. I'm an earth. Together we make mud..

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Beauty is truth made visible..

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My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home and forgetting things..

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Trees keep growing while standing completely still..

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You know you're stressed when you start getting on your own nerves..

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The ultimate fruit of education is a readiness to learn..

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I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree..

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We tolerate our nightmares so that we can continue to dream..

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I’d love to hear your long story. If you can make it short. And interesting..

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Humor is the shock-absorber on the bumpy road of life..

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I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out..

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If you don’t have art within you, you will not find it in the gallery..

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I just wish pictures and mirrors could agree on what I actually look like..

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Sometimes one is uncertain whether one received a pat on the back or a stab in the back..

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It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page..

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