Tuesday, April 28, 2015
New post!
[on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell her what? "Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best" [dies]
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[flashlight to face] When we were young, we only had a few TV channels *all the kids gasp* And there was no wifi *4 kids puke and 2 faint*
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[job interview] What's your greatest strength? "I'm a people person" Excellent. Any weaknesses? "I hate them"
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Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live Me: Why are YOU afraid? Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?
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I would do anything for you. well almost anything. ok some things. like a few things. maybe one thing. do I know you? look at the time!
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There are over 7 billion people on planet earth, and I'm just over here trying to avoid every single one of them!
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I'm not unloved. I just have a lot of very, very secret admirers. I'm sure they're just shy!
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Psychology fact: Ironically, the person you'd take a bullet for sometimes ends up being the one behind the gun!
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Nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But some mistakes will teach you great lessons and make you a better person!
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Tip: If you think somebody is giving you a fake number, read it back to them incorrectly. See if they correct you!
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Psychologically, the more loving you are, the more painful it feels when a person fails to realize how much you care for them!
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