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A generous spirit is its own reward, but I still prefer cash..

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Yesterday I changed my wifi name to "Hack if you can"; when I checked it today it was "Challenge accepted"..

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Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored..

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I wish some conversations came with a fast-forward button..

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Hey, to whoever invented the zero: Thanks for nothing..

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Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life..

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The Judge: "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again." The Criminal: "That's what I told the cop, but he wouldn't listen!"

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