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Let's all get drunk and correct each other's grammar..

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I'm living the dream! I sleep all the time..

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If you love something let it go. If it comes back, maybe you love a boomerang..

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The doctor told me I suffer with insomnia. I've lay awake all night worrying about it..

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Interview: "We want to hire responsible people." "Great! When things go wrong people always say say I'm "responsible".

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My relationship with my ex was very psychological..... she's psycho and I'm logical..

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I'm fairly certain I could be arrested at any moment for being a Serial Time Killer..

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Would you mind repeating the part where you weren't talking?

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Ever notice when people reach a certain age they repeat everything they say? They repeat everything they say..

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If I save time, when do I get it back?

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Wife: "See that devoted couple? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" Husband: "I don't know her well enough".

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Though many think the letter 'M' is quite common, it actually only occurs once in a blue moon..

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We all are defending our right to remain silent by speaking too much about it..

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Microsoft first included Solitaire in their Windows operating system to teach people how to drag and drop..

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Are we responsible for the image we create for ourselves or is it the people around us?

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Enough of masti....now we must also be contemplating on some serious issues.... Please Spare a thought for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat!!

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