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I wish you could hear yourself. You're really quite irritating..

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I am not a alcoholic.. I drink on occasions. it's not my fault. My friends and I have a lot of occasions..

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If stupid people didn't exist who would we laugh at??

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Ever had one of those moments when you meet someone and they're about as useful to you as a white crayon? Yeah I'm having on of those moments..

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Parent: what did u learn today at school ? Kid: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!! don't you just hate that!

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I will start calling it a smart phone when Im angry & shout "WHERE DID I PUT THAT STUPID PHONE!" & it yells back OVER HERE! UNDER UR JACKET!"

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I swear, my memory must be slipping because I sure don't remember asking you for your opinion..

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